ImmortalDatenshi

Here is where I stand, and even if I was to step forward, where would I go? There is no path for me to take, no road for me to follow. Shall I forge a way? But what would I strive for? What goal would I wish? My mind is indecisive, and furthermore inconclusive. What would await me down whatever path I choose? To take a blind step forward seems foolish, but my time is running out. I'm being pulled towards an inevitable end, but it feels as if I'm being dragged in all directions. I must keep going onward, yet how can I do so...when I don't even know how?

The world doesn't like me. Yup, it's official. God, Buddha, karma, or whatever higher power out there hates me. It absolutely loves to just grab me by the throat and watch me struggle to breathe. Yup, I'm the world's bitch. And you know what? I can't stop it. Why? 'Cause I can't make up my mind on how to kick the world's ass. Ah, so many things I could do...

I'm afraid to say it...afraid to seem vulnerable and weak...but I think...know...that I am very lonely... And while I long passionately for someone close, I am also deathly terrified at the idea. I fear the very notion of seeming as frail and delicate as I know I am, to have my soul stripped bare-naked...and then rejected for who I truly am...

I used to be in love with love.

I'd daydream everyday about someone who'd show me a passion so deep, I'd happily drown in its depths. But now...I'm not so sure…

What is love, anyways? Does such a pure and unrivaled emotion even exist? Or have I been simply chasing after a fraction of its true essence? The question now is, do I continue this seemingly pointless pursuit?

I've become so disenchanted as of late. Or perhaps it's disillusioned?

But...if I don't keep searching for that desired person, I think I'd lose myself in the process...